Currently writing this from Mammoth Lakes, CA - 7:52am
Don’t really know where to start this grammatically incorrect blog, but I just want to share some thought i’ve had the past week.
Currently at Mammoth for a short snowboarding trip, while I have what feels like all the responsibilities in the world (take that lightly just speaking from emotion). Why am I out here when I have things to do, I have no clue. I need to work on time management and maybe work on becoming a responsible adult? I feel guilty, I really do, for taking time off but I think it was necessary. What if i’m just making an excuse in my head so I don’t feel as guilty, maybe?
This past week has been heaven and hell. Growing up I hav always been a firm believer in chasing your dreams and anything is possible. One of the many crazy dreams I have is to have some type of creative career where I get to share stories and make things and to have fun doing so. Then this past week has been a dream right? But it seems like it’s never that easy, it’s been hell too. Missing deadlines, not reaching expectations I set for myself, self confidence, spreading myself out too thin, ego; these are things that I have been struggling with and it gets freaking hard. But I think the pressure from all of these things, comes from exhaustion, and burning myself out.
That feels so contradictory to what i’ve been saying lol. What I mean is to not quit, but to gain experience and learn how to solve problems and not make the same mistakes. Learn how to manage time. Learn to be more efficient. Focused. Have fun chasing dreams.
This post may have made zero sense, but what i’m trying to say is speaking for me personally, there is an art in taking breaks, but doesn’t necessarily mean to be lazy. You can take breaks and still be productive / learn, it just helps to be in a different environment. It keeps the quality of work high, takes care of my body, physical, mental, & spiritual. It allows me to see the work i’m doing from a far, so self reflection and observation. But all at the same time, an essential art form difficult for me to master.
I apologize to those who have been waiting patiently for pieces, I need to make it up to you. I will be back in the studio tomorrow ready, with a new process, a clearer workflow, and so stoked to start creating again. This has been such a crazy couple weeks since I started this website and I don’t plan on stopping. This is not just a dream anymore but it still feels like one, I can’t thank you all enough for following this journey and reading the story. If you need anything let me know :)